By Namrah Matloob.
Last night a thought came into my mind that is there a specific word in language for a daughter’s parents since I feel they should be given a specific title. I searched for a considerable measure yet could not find any specific word of such sort which differentiates between parents of daughters and sons or make them unequal on certain levels. You might be thinking what I am talking about. How come parents can be treated unequal on the basis that they are parent to a girl or a boy? Yes, they can be treated as unequal. Yes, they are treated unequal.
They are not equivalent; shockingly they are not regarded as equivalents in our general public, basically in South Asia. I want to talk specifically in terms of married couples. In a marriage, girl’s parents are usually taken for granted. They are under a constant pressure of acting nice and polite even though the boy’s parents do nothing of such sort which is nice and polite.
When a rishta comes in a Pakistani household, the boy’s parents always come up with a statement “humme tou aap ki beti se sirf izat chaea” but wait us and our son will be unable to provide such kind of services.
On the very first day of marriage when the girl expects her husband to make promises of long life partnership and eternal happiness, she ends up promising her husband that she will take care and respect his parents as her own. Why she never asks for any promise of such sort?
Why even now a woman is not able to ask a man she is going to marry to equally respect her parents? Why this never comes under discussion? Why my parents are not considered equally important as yours? Have they put in less effort to raise me? Am I not as important to them as much your son is important to you?
Why we don’t advise our sons to similarly regard his in-laws. There is no damage in this in fact it will without a doubt add joy to his wedded life. What’s so wrong in having some more blessings by regarding your better half’s family as your own? We ought to begin centering to build up an uplifting demeanor instead of aimlessly taking after the negative convention of considering the young lady’s parents as to some degree mediocre. I will ensure that when I wed somebody I tell the person and his family the same thing which I have heard various times “mje aap k bete aur aap se apne parents ki utni e izat chaea jitni aap ko mjse”. I will likewise ensure that I make my better half regard my parents as well as tomorrow if Allah gives to me the duty to bring up a son I will teach him to do likewise when he gets hitched. I do not mean to discourage women that they shouldn’t respect their in-laws until or unless their family is given equal respect but this is something which a girl’s parents deserve from the very beginning.
I believe that appreciation is earned not requested but rather in our general public a young lady needs to commandingly request it either for herself or her family. There is nothing wrong in it. The day we will start asking for equal respect for our parents then a day will come when they will be given equal respect without being asked for.
Writer is an English literature student and hails from Islamabad.