Dr. Alishba Sadaf.
We often experience people around us predicting about our future life. Remarkable number of people who predict about our nature, attitude, professional approach and even relationship outcomes are the ones who even don’t know much about their own. Today, I want to put some light on what is self-worth and how to make positive approach toward our self. Self-worth is what enables us to believe that we are capable of doing our best with our talents, of donating sound in society, and that we are worthy to lead an accomplished life.
We human beings are God gifted to know our self-worth by birth with the passage of time, the remarks, hopes, and attitudes of many people living around us can shut down this usual sense of self-worth. Constructing it again is a challenge for all of us. How you observe yourself, how you talk about yourself, and how you signify yourself ultimately turn out to be the reality for you. And God forbid if it happens that you’re putting yourself down, depreciating your worth, and creating light of your talents in the aspect of others, then unfortunately you will fall upon as unassuming, low in confidence, and almost will fade you talents. This isn’t humbleness, its state of abstemiousness and a shot to diminish your existence. Flipping coin on the other side, if you over augment your abilities, aptitudes, and skills, you’ll come across as self-centered as well as proud. Strangely enough, this is not about over-approximating your self-worth but roughly misleading yourself through self-doubt.
As I always emphasize the value of moderation in every aspect of life. There exist intermediate way and it is unique in which you identify and rejoice the fact that Allah created you, so you are a valued person, equal to everybody else, and that your talents and considerations are exceptional and commendable. Attainment of this belief can be challenging if you have consumed years underrating your value but believe me it’s never too late to start, you always possess potential to modify your point of view and to learn to value yourself. Self-love is frequently equated with selfishness, self-centeredness, and some sort of a negative form of introversion. This is probably moderately because the many people around us feel hard time dealing with the term “love”. It has to cover a lot of zone for the many diverse types of love out there. It is also hindered in the misperception people feel about the message to do well unto others, to always be generous, and to contribute, contribute, contribute, of oneself.
While I accept by heart these are noble aims, they can repeatedly be overemphasized and used to restrain putting one’s own needs and wants beneath those of others out of a fear of being perceived as selfish or inward-looking. Again I repeat, this is about getting the equilibrium right. So what is real self-love or self-worth, it’s all about being your peculiar best friend. Its expression is not through grooming oneself all day and persistently declaring how great you are as those signs will exhibit intense insecurity at your part somewhat, self-love is about giving yourself the same attention, lenience, kindness, and concern as you would treat a special friend. Just avoid what people think about you. How does it help you to provide your personality to their idea of you? You are the only one who can contribute the esteem lift you want. Self-love fades when we fall into the dominion of addiction. Heavy drinking, abusive relationship, drug addiction, Internet addiction, and all analogous addictions are indication that you’re broken hearted severely but also that you don’t want to face up to the chances accessible by working through your discomfort regardless of what is the reason behind.
Self-worth needs that you learn to pay attention to and trust upon your own state of mind and not robotically answer back to the feelings of other people about you. Once all those around you found that you’ll answer back to what they want, they’ll lack any spur to not make use of your responsiveness, and that circles a dilemma for you that can be hard to break. Believe me When you reliance your own spirits, you will understand that when burdens are placed upon you, you don’t feel great and you will want to respond with what works better for you, rather than what works better for every Tom, Dick, and Harry except you.
Self-worth falls down when you let others make choices for your life. Primarily this may seem like the easy method and one that allows you to avoid hard choices. But with the passage of time, it turns into the tough path as you will always find yourself boxed in by what other individuals choose for you. And at that time unexpectedly, if the people who make decisions for you vanish from your life, you are left alone and uncertain about what to do next. That point in life is really earth-shattering place to end up in and it’s more likely than not to happen if you’re not equipped to make choices for yourself in other words never be dependent. When you try to live the life others want you to you lose yourself. In its place, you are following a scope set by others prospects, whether or not those prospects are clearly defined or implied. Unluckily, in our society many people live this way, making such selections as what to study, what profession to choose, whom to marry, where to live, and how many children to have – all constructed on hopes from parents, life partners, friends, social circles, trends and last but not the least the media.
This is often outcome of being scared of standing up for their preferences and respecting their self-worth. It’s a real humiliation to live your life for someone else. My point is not to disrespect or disobey the people around you but at least respect yourself and your opinion. Be very careful of listening too much to people who guilt the choices that they made in life and who actively inflict their distress or anger at this regret upon others. Such people won’t enlighten you as to the path of acting on your self-worth at all. Instead, they’ll try to either live out what they didn’t get through you or, what’s eviler, expect you to have the same terrible experiences they had. To be sure of this, they’ll give you poor info, improper details, or just ignore to inform you at all. People with healthy self-worth will share their visions and knowledge with you, and will be keen to demonstrate you around life’s many setups. So what is your task Look for such Nobel people to guide you rather than being misguided by the hopeless people who are too miserable to help. Strong people have the psychological strength to wear out life’s complications without on your last legs. I am not advising depreciating the problems and encounters of life, they are still very obvious at their place, but all about how you perceive, react and work your technique to face them and to get rid of them. Family problems, breakups, joblessness, failing exams, bullying or harassment by other fellows, body shaming, discrimination whatever the situation You always have a choice between belittling yourself or always memorizing your self-worth and staying stable in that resolution.
So wrapping up how to do this in actual, first of all believe in fact that no one makes a lock without a key that’s why Allah won’t give you problems without solution, estimate the actual problem, discuss with parents. Focus your energy on what you need to do to change the situation or the circumstances. Understand the fact that other people have faced the circumstances too and are not automatically directing the outcome. Try to solve issues by yourself and believe me optimistic approach will help you for sure.
Dr. Alishba Sadaf is MS. OMPT, Physiotherapy musculoskeletal specialist hailing from Islamabad.