By Zarlish Wazir.
Going through my Facebook timeline today, I was startled by a status, uploaded by a young boy. What arrested my attention wasn’t the fact that it was about his love life rather the age of that boy. He was hardly 14. The status which was embedded with heavy emotions and deep feelings was way too much for a boy of his age. I mean when we were fourteen, we still use to watch Dragon Ball (the cartoon), with much enthusiasm but seems like things have changed now.
Teenage, a very significant phase in one’s life is known for its endless boasts of energy, curiosity and unbeatable enthusiasm to do anything but only if provided the right direction. During the teenage period due to the release of certain hormones, one does feel attracted to the opposite sex and it’s natural. When children grow into adolescence they develop crushes for the other gender. But when these ‘crushes’ are taken seriously, they turn into a proper relationship. Over the past years there has been a great trend in being in a relationship with someone before marriage. People do label it as falling in love, though.
Falling in love is a fundamental truth and there is no denial to it but the significant point to notice here is that it’s not love, which teenagers go through (most of the time) rather it’s a mere attraction for opposite sex or infatuations. During the stage of adolescence, individuals develop a strong sense of self-identity and develop a solid attachment to people around them, which is largely affected by the surroundings such as family, peers, and environment. They are said to be highly emotionally charged. If not watched out properly their actions may become disastrous. Not to forget the incident of young school couple who killed each other back in September 2015 in their classroom at a local school in Karachi, leaving behind a letter declaring how much they love each other and they know their parents will never allow them to get married. I came across this anonymous tweet regarding it:
Jis mashray mai bachy school mai pyar mai khud kushyian karny lagy: wahan taleem ki nahe tarbiyat ki zarorat hai”
There are a number of factors involved which are partly responsible for the current state of our younger generations. Firstly it is the radical advancement in technology, one can never negate the facilitation science has brought upon the humankind but one can’t ignore the negative effects it has imprinted our youngsters with. Making everything easily accessible to everyone it has turned youngsters into materialistic brats who want only what they wish for. In addition to this, the way media portrays ‘THE PERFECT PICTURE’ of the love relationships make them look so desirable especially to the young minds. These romantic TV shows are particularly targeted at teens and are designed in a way to attract them emotionally. Who as a result, from a very early stage start looking to find their soul mate. Looking for their ‘ideal’ in everyone they meet, wishing for their life to be perfect as it is shown in the glamorous lives of the characters in the shows thus taking them away from reality and closer to fantasy. Furthermore, another noteworthy factor is the role parents play in upbringing their children.
Parenthood is never an easy job especially when your child is in his teens. Parents need to focus more on the environment they are providing their child with moreover they have to pay more attention to their child’s behavior and make sure they share every little detail with them so that they will be able to mentor them during their rough period, but nowadays, unfortunately, parents seem to be busy with their own social circle, parties and business trips leaving their child solely at the hands of their maids and to the Godforsaken Internet. So when the child fails to get that affection and time needed from their parents they turn to look for it in the strangers they meet. And most of these experiences are not healthy. As to the youngsters’ part: you need to understand one thing clearly that, firstly make a priority list of your life.
There is a proper time for everything to do in life. And trust me looking for perfect love at the age of fourteen or fifteen is mere silliness. Instead of falling in love and searching for a true soul mate all the “bacha party” needs to focus on your studies and careers. You will be having plenty of time to find love, develop understanding and of course to get married so all you need is to be a bit more patient and realize the worth of your age. Once this prime time is gone it will never come back. What you can do is to make the best of it both for yourself and your country. Dream big, develop your ambitions and work hard to achieve it. Youth under the age of 25 constitutes 63% of total population of Pakistan. Realizing the worth of your presence, if only you focused on professional careers, constructive and practically beneficiary projects and playing their role towards the progress of their country no one can stop this nation from developing.
Writer is an English literature student and hails from Islamabad.